I Know That Face. I Know That Feeling.

“It’s just really really scary,” she said.

Picture this:

Chris and I decide to go out to dinner with my mom and dad. I choose O’Charley’s (we hardly ever go there) because I just want a piece of fish and some veggies. (Which was DELICIOUS, by the way.)

Mom rides with Eloise and I because dad and Chris have to run an errand first. On the way there, I’m sharing with mom how I feel like during these last few weeks, the Lord has really protected my spirit from being overwhelmed with fear.

I thought it would be a good idea the other day to do some at home research on Edith’s heart condition. While researching, I came across some really scary statistics. I mean, when your unborn child’s condition is a 1 in 22,000 kind of statistic, that can be scary. But I was explaining to my mom how I felt like I’ve been so divinely protected from being fearful of the statistics and quite honestly, the reality of the severity of our situation. Even after doing my at home research, and becoming more educated on Edith’s congenital heart defect, I can still walk through this uncertainty fearless; I don’t stay in a place of fear. I’m thankful for that.  (There are scary moments, sure. I would be lying if I said there weren’t times when I wasn’t overwhelmed by our situation, but I don’t stay there.) 

We got to the restaurant before the guys, and while we sat waiting, continued to chat about walking through this season faithfully. It was good conversation.

We enjoyed our dinner, talking about Eloise dipping Doritos in milk and other silliness. In passing, our server had mentioned that she was exhausted from being pregnant. In my mind I was totally like “I feel ya girl!”

As we wrapped up our meal and slipped the young girl the checks, she noticed my growing baby bump. She asked if I was pregnant, to which conversation about due dates and genders ensued. She’s due in July with a little girl. I told her how much fun girls are, as Eloise was ironically screaming in her daddy’s lap. She excitedly pulled out her phone to show us a picture of her latest ultrasound, showing her tiny baby sucking her thumb. She then began to tell us how she’s going in next week to have another ultrasound, one that’s more detailed. Her face quickly became solemn and serious.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“They found a problem with her heart, so we’re going to have it looked at in more detail,” she replied.

Our whole table looked at each other.

You could feel how scared she was. Young. First time mom. Faced with uncertainty.”It’s just really really scary,” she said.

The excitement of motherhood suddenly swept away amidst the fear of reality. I know that face. I know that feeling. 

I almost started crying. I shared with her how we have a heart baby on the way. I tried to encourage her that them finding the heart defect early on is a good thing; how there are fabulous teams of doctors around us now monitoring her and helping us come up with a plan.

She listened.

Mom asked if we could pray with her. So there, in the very back of O’Charley’s, on a Saturday night, we prayed with and for a scared young mom, pregnant with a little girl with a possible heart defect – a missing valve to be exact. 

WHATTTTT.

As I think of her and her unborn baby, my prayer is that the Lord would also protect her heart and mind from being afraid. Our encounter wasn’t chance. It was a reminder to me that God continues to work in the details of our situation; a reminder that we aren’t just a scary statistic of 1 in 22,000. I hope, in some way, it was an encouragement to her as well.

Her baby girl’s name is Madison. If you think of praying for our Edith, consider also praying for baby Madison. Pray for our server and her boyfriend/husband that they would feel comforted walking through this uncertainty.

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I Know That Face. I Know That Feeling.

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